written by Brooke-Lauren Montgomery
Hey guys. I know it's been a while since I've posted anything. I've been crazy busy with school and my two jobs. I'm taking 15 hours of classes while working about twenty hours a week. I'd orginally started with 12 hours until I was told there had been a mistake on my graduation plan. In order for me to graduate in May of 2014 as I planned, I have to take 15 hours this semester and 18 this coming Spring. I have a lot of reading and tons of papers I have to write. Next semester I present my capstone which is the final say in whether I graduate or not. It's a twenty to twenty-five minute long presentation of a paper a student has written that they must present to the whole English department.
Some good news is that my first novel, The Protected: The Unseen Realm is moving on in the production schedule quickly. I've picked my cover and it's AWESOME!!! I cannot show it yet, but as soon as I can, I will. I turned in my first set of edits to my project manager last Friday and am currently awaiting my second set of edits before finalizing the changes. I can't wait!!!
I want to share an encouraging word with you today. It's about hurt. A couple weeks ago, someone I thought was a good friend of mine told me we couldn't be friends anymore. I don't know what I did, and I begged this person to talk to me so we could work things out, but they ignored me. Like everybody, I have struggles I face. This "friend" was someone I went to for prayer and vented to whenever I had a bad day. This person is a good twenty years older than me and promised me they'd always be there no matter what. They said they loved me like their own, then I received a call one evening from them saying we couldn't be friends anymore. I was dumbfounded and couldn't understand. This person said they were "led" to do this. When I texted the next day asking what I did, they cut me off and never spoke to me again. Didn't have the decency to talk things out with me face to face and let me know what the real issue was. I blamed myself for another frienship gone wrong, that it was my fault for, once again, getting rejected when I did nothing. Afterall, why else would someone I became good friends with decided to whack the friendship off? I was distraught and shocked at how ugly this grown person was to me. I just couldn't figure out why they had such anismosity toward me.
I texted a good friend of mine I've known for years who knew the person, explaining what happened. Come to find out, the reason this friendship ended wasn't even because of me, but because of jealousy. It sounded so preposterous that at first I didn't accept it, but the more I thought it over and the more my good friend explained certain things to me, it clicked.
I cried out to God because I couldn't stand the hurt anymore. I've been hurt countless times by people I thought were my friends. People who've walked away from an eight year best friendship for a group of girls she knew for only a month, friends who lied to me, back stabbed me. The day this certain "friend" told me to quit talking to her, nearly killed me because that was one more person I started to trust. I prayed for God to give me the Peace only He can give, and He did. He let me realize that this happened for a reason. If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have kept growing in Him because this person was holding me back and I see it clearly now.
Yesterday afternoon as the situation came back to my mind, I thought of how people hated Jesus, and if not everyone liked Him, the Perfect Son of God, what made me think everyone would like me? I'm a people pleaser and I want everyone to like me, but they won't. It's not reality. Then I thought, "Well, Jesus never had any good friend who promised they wouldn't leave, reject Him," and immediately, Peter, one of Christ's close disciples came to mind. In Matthew 26, Peter promised He would never deny Jesus, that he would die with Jesus. However, Peter ended up denying Jesus three times before the rooster crowed.
God told me through this passage, that He knows what it feels like to be rejected, and not only did Peter do it, but the Jews did. They rejected their own Savior and hung Him on a cross.
My encouraging word for you, friends? Don't let someone keep your broken and torn heart. Take it back and hand it to Jesus so He can heal it and replace it back within you. I'd be lying if I said I don't struggle with bitterness and anger toward those who've deliberately hurt me, but know this: It's okay to struggle. We're human. But, pray and ask God to remove the anger and bittnerness to allow joy to flood back in. It's a constant battle for me because I'm reminded every day what this person did, but it's my choice whether I let it take me over or whether I shove it out of mind and pray for God to give me strength and compassion on those who've hurt me.
It's not easy by a long shot. It's a process.
Just know that God knows how you feel. He out of anyone does.
Have a blessed day! <3